I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
