So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
