She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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