i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
