lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
