So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
id be glad to
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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