I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
they're like a gay fantastic four
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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