like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
