thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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