Your tits are I can't wait for
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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