I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
