I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize