OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
