The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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