Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
