i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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