Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
