5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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