before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
only if we run a train.
done.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
