I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
