Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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