I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
