and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
