Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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