thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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