My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bring me that man meat
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
