Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
