The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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