i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
