sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
