So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
