I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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