Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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