just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
