i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
