In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
