I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
