I must be too annoying 4 u.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
