i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
