we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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