U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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