I wish I could punch you in the face.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
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Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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