apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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