i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
