Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
