who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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