I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
