I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
