Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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