I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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