Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
