and you said cock pushups were impossible
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize