Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
