you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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