I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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