Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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