well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
