Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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