You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
