guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize